BE HUMBLE??

You know what? I don’t like to tell people about what I’ve accomplished creatively—it’s awkward. I’ve had a philosophy for a long time about my creativity and artwork: “I do this for me, because it makes me feel happy and fills me up. As long as I like what I make, that’s all that matters to me.” This is true; this is enough for me and has always been, and I hope it always will be. There are times when life is too full or too messy and the creativity stops because it’s survival time, but really, I can’t shake that muse; she’s a stubborn little magic maker.

Things are shifting. As I age, I feel time getting shorter. I have been asking myself, “Are you content or are you hiding?” Both is the best answer I have.

The hiding is real. I dim down, like any good Catholic girl should. I’m one of those vibey types. I can feel the feels from people around me, and when I’m able to do things others haven’t and I feel their sadness, jealousy, or annoyance from that, I deflect. I get demure; I show them the things I’m bad at. I don’t think it’s wrong to be aware of your limitations and have a sense of humor about them. It keeps me grounded and realistic, but I’ll be damned if I need to take on anyone’s emotional regulation other than my own. I have worked too hard to get rid of that habit (still working), and I’ve learned so much—why not share it?

So, I’m screaming down the shame and getting brave enough to show others what I do. I’m filling my cup and wetting my lips so I can fully drink in this creative life I am so lucky to live, and I want you to come along.

The song called “War Paint” is a collab with my fellow musicians Jerry Eaton and Andy Goulding, and it’s about embracing the light and leaving the haters (even if it’s coming from your own mind) behind. CLICK HERE to listen to the song or the whole EP.